Crazy Americans

I just turned my computer on for the first time in over 3 weeks. Pretty amazing, eh? I've been resisting the urge to, because I knew that once I did I wouldn't resurface for several hours. My list of things to do on my computer is two pages long. But, as I said, I've been resisting. After nearly passing out with a panic attack at the Dallas airport the day I left the meditation course, I decided easing myself back into my life was the way to go. The lines, people, screaming babies, plastic baggies with liquids of no more than three ounces, shoes off through security-they must go on the belt, not in the tubs!- ID in hand, loud foreign accents, Wolf Blitzer blabbing on about Obama's health care plan piped in over the whole freaking place for your listening pleasure, proved to be a little much for me after 10 days of peace and silence.

At lunch in Dallas a couple of days before my course, my Aunt Tina made the comment, "you can't live in America and not be busy." Only someone who spends 3 months of the year in India could have that perspective, I suppose. Of course we all know we're "busy." There are different grades of busy, of course, ranging from the low-end-of-normal to the average to the awe-inspiring-uber-organized-phenom busy. We are actually impressed with people who accomplish more in one day than most people do in 3. And if you know anyone who often has "free time" it's almost as if they need to justify it to not appear, dare I say...lazy.

On my 4th day at the course I was walking the grounds of the center as the brand new sun rose overhead. Being in a rural area outside of Dallas, I was able to stop and admire some cows that were grazing on the other side of the barbed wire. Such lucky cows, I thought, as not many cows born today get to roam freely, eating grass, their natural-sized utters used only to raise their own babies. Kind of like the odds and good fortune of children born in America, I though to myself.

I walked further and knelt down to admire a leopard spotted frog. What a wonderful day, I thought as I tiptoed past him. I was feeling so good I wondered to myself, I think I would have enjoyed living in the country, with a slower pace, more nature... And then my aunt's comment, "you can't live in America and not be busy," resurfaced. It suddenly really made sense. Yeah, nature is all well and good, but standing around to admire it isn't the American way. We are a culture of faster, stronger, louder, better, richer. While Europeans take weeks off "on holiday" in the summer, everyone I talk to can't imagine giving up 10 vacation days to go sit and meditate. The English have afternoon teas, and many Latin cultures siesta midday. But while they were relaxing, Americans just made another $50.

As a person who clearly is drawn to a more meditative lifestyle, I'm still an efficient American through and through. We, like those cows, were fortunate enough to land where we did. We have the choice and opportunity to make of our life what we want. And most of us pack in as much as we can fit. Fully aware of the madness that lay ahead, as school starts next week, I've made the choice to ease back in. But, I turned on my computer this afternoon and Skyped into Lilly's first birthday party. And bottom line is, I love it. The madness, the tight schedule, accomplishing 3 days worth of things in one- after all, I'm going back to the classroom because I've been pulling my hair out in boredom the last few years.

I more than enjoyed- I needed- my 10+ days of zen. And I will try to maintain traces of it by meditating each morning.

But I'm back. Bring on the crazy!